For Stephanie

Hey Stephanie...I think you have my email wrong its kathleenconaway@hotmail.com or jcon717@yahoo.com I can't see your blog :)

I'm Sitting up and GO PACK GO!

The packers won again tonight!!! Presley is sitting up by herself...after all that work, she takes a rest :)

Life goes on...

If I am going to blog...it will have to be short. I am working fulltime again...It is the most painful thing to leave Presley everyday. I cry most days but I will PRAISE THE LORD.

Check this out- my work is letting me begin at 11:30 everyday AFTER I breastfeed Presley. I get two thirty-minute, give or take, breaks to pump and half the time, I leave campus to do so. They gave me an asassistant Director and I am done at 6 every night. PRAISE THE LORD.

True, life is crazy. Drive 45 minutes in traffic, pick up baby, home at 7:15, bath at 7:30, feed at 8. Dinner, get pump, lunch, bottles ready, wash dishes, clean a bit hang out with Terry. Bed...did we eat dinner???? Feed at 4am sleep another hour, baby up, "Terry please get her" baby in bed sleep with mommy for another hour, Terry sleeps in babies room another hour. Up for reals at 8, feed baby, play with her for a hour, back down for nap. Shower, out the door for another day with 50 kids that fill my life with so much joy!

It's my life right now, with my family...I feel so blessed.

SLEEEPPPPPP AT LASSSSTTTT

Ok...I am a little giddy. I just had 7 hours of straight sleep with on little wake-up at 4 to look at the monitor to see how Presley was doing. She was still asleep and I contemplated going and pumping but I decided against it even though my boobs were not only as big but as hard as real melons!

A little background. We moved Presley (4 months) to her crib last week with the hopes she would sleep better. She did, but she still was doing that regressed thing where she wanted to nurse every 3 hours. I considered it a growth spurt and we road it out for a while. After about 2 weeks we decided to put a stop to it.

We started on the weekend so Terry could be the main comforter when she looked for food at 3 am and didn't get it. We figured if she saw me it would be the biggest disappointment of her life to expect to be comforted by a full booby and then not get it!

The first couple nights she cried it out with us going in on her and reassuring her etc. but after the first night she caught on quickly.

I really didn't need her to sleep 10 HOURS without eating...I was hoping for 6! But for the last 2 nights she has gone about 10 hours.

I'm sure that she will probably settle at a little less for now...but honestly this is a HUGE example to me of how God waits to the last hour and comes through. I am going back to work in a week and a half. I run a daycare center for school-aged kids. Its a fulltime, salaried on your feet running groups of 5-12year olds all day! I was very scared at what my life would look like on 5 hours a sleep broken up by 2 feedings. He knew that and for the sake of growing me further He makes me wait, wait and trust that the Lord will work things out.

I certainly waited, but trust was a another issue! Hopefully I'm a little closer next time.

I feel so taken care of by the Lord.

By the way the picture is Presley and cousin parker who is 15 months and will spending the day with Presley when Parker's mommy comes over to our house to watch Pres. He's trying very hard to use gentle hands!

Her own room

How am I ever going to handle letting Presley go??? Tonight we put her in her own room, in her crib for the first time. She hates taking naps there, probably because she hates taking naps too begin with, but she's sleeping now for about 2 hours. I sit here, feeling somewhat sad and empty because my little baby is growing up! Listen to me, what the heck is wrong with me???? She's only 4 months, not going into kindergarten , high school or 18! What if she can't breathe? What if she is scared? What if someone takes her and I can't get to her??? Now I'm being plain silly.

I have said and preached it "don't hold onto anything too tightly". Yet I am holding on to Presley so tight. I know this is the beginning of letting her go and letting God be in charge.

My prayer is that I trust in the Lord, and not hold onto what is really not mine anyway, too tightly. Besides, I've got the video baby monitor right next to my ear.

Presley, before you were born I had already thought of you 10 x a million. Before you were born I would lay on the couch dreaming of your beautiful eyes. When you would move in my tummy I would close my eyes, wrap my arms around my belly and whisper "I love you". When you were just a pea inside me I would pray for you all the time and turn the music up in the car so I was sure you could hear. I would talk to you all the time about all the people you would soon meet. I would cry telling you I wanted to be a good mommy for you. When you were in my belly a day NEVER went by that I didn't treasure you growing inside me. I loved you before I met you, before I saw you, before I knew you.

Before God gave life to you in my tummy I dreamed of you a thousand times. You were my hearts desire that only God knew just how precious to me you were. Daddy and I would talk about you all the time. We would exchange what we would do with you, what we would teach you, and how we would love you. Daddy and I wanted you so much before you began in my tummy.

Even before daddy and I got married, I was dreaming about your smile. Before I even met your daddy I thought of you. Before prom, heartbreaks, awkward stages and even kindergarten....all the way down to when I was 3 feet tall I thought of you. I would dress you up in adorable clothes, take care of you, feed you, change you, talk to you, love you, kiss you. You were my little doll that I took every where.

Presley before you were here, were in my tummy, all the way back to when I was a little girl I have waited for you. Oh how you were worth the wait.

Thank-you father for this amazing, incredible blessing that is my baby girl.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN



Before I was a Mom…
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom…
I slept as late as I wanted.
And never worried about how late I got
into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth every day.

Before I was a Mom…
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words
to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants
were poisonous.
I never thought about immunisations.

Before I was Mom…
I had never been puked on,
Pooped on,
Spat on,
Chewed on,
Peed on,
Or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom…
I had complete control of my mind,
My thoughts.
My body,
And my time.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held down a screaming child,
So that doctors could do tests,
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and
cried.
I never got gloriously happy over
a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours
at night
Watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because.
I didn’t want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million
pieces.
When I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn’t know the feeling of having my
heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to
feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother
and her child.
I didn’t know that something so smallCould make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never risen in the middle of the night .
Every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
The joy,
The love,
The heartache,
The wonderment,
Or the satisfaction of being a
Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable
of feeling so
Much before I was a Mom!