Another good reason to work at my marriage

Two days ago, a little girl, who I have known for years, stood in front of me sobbing. She was sobbing because she couldn't hold it in any longer. She was overwhelmed with deadlines for school work, home life and life in general. Her parents are headed for divorce and she is very aware of her unstable environment.

It shook me. It's not that I have not dealt with this. I have dealt with much worse in my 9 years of school age daycare. What is different is that I have now known these families for so long, I have seen many of there second children follow their first through the center. I have watched their families over a 6 year span, specifically at this center. And in this case, watched the decline. I have first hand seen a stable, well adjusted child fall apart because of whats going on at home.

In the middle of the conversation with this child Terry calls.

"Hi babe. Just wanted to let you know I am on my way home. I love you."

I hang up and altogether at once in my head I was:

1. Utterly grateful that I enjoy life with Terry
2. Completely thankful that God manages our marriage
3. Committed to doing WHATEVER it takes to be married at 60....even if he were to not be.
4. That if I were to throw in the towel...I would be changing my children's lives forever because divorce and fighting in the home affects children.

Terry and I have been through a lot over the last 10 years. We have had some really disgusting times in terms of how we treated each other. Many seasons that brought on growth and change. But the latest one during our marriage for me was 4 months after Presley was born. I remember the scene perfectly. I was getting ready to go back to work and I was scared and overwhelmed. We had just bought our house. I cried out to the Lord saying how can I do this? How can our marriage whether such stress? Middle of the night feedings, full time work where I am on call day and night? I stood in the kitchen and Terry and I fought about dishes (source of many past fights...I am messy he is clean). He walked out the door and I clearly remember me crying out to the Lord I CAN"T DO THIS!!! And the Lord simply said inside my heart....serve Me.

In marriage, you live with another person. The whole relationship in many ways must be like a positive team that works together for the end goal. Our goal is to 1) stay married! but ultimately please God. But when we "serve" our spouses, as each one should the other, it really is serving the Lord. It is for the Lord. So when we are upset with the other, and we have met the end or our rope for that person, we can keep going because the things we do for the spouse, or the sake of the marriage, its's all for the Lord. And...the kicker, is He is our strength in our very weakness. When I am "done" being married. When I am "done" doing whatever it is in life that is overwhelming, in Him we find rest and peace for our weary souls. He miraculously fills us up and we can give more.

Right now...we are in a sweet, calm spot. We are like butter in our daily grind. He helps me, I help him, we are very motivated to do what it takes while we await this new baby and enjoy the one we have! But dark will come again, when life happens. The battle will continue all our lives. Keeping Jesus number one in our lives is our ONLY chance.

So....after that really long post...my point is that when this incident happened with the little girl, I was grateful for the marriage I have. But even more than that, grateful for the One who is my Shepard, my Helper, my Father, my Savior and my very present help in times of trouble.