How's this for honesty??!!

I am increasingly getting to the point in life where I am DONE with everything that does not pertain to Terry and Presley.

I am growing weary of leaving my 21 month old and driving 10 miles to work. And work sucks up every OUNCE of energy I have in this pregnant overweight body! And when I say work...it's really dealing with all the administrative responsibilities...if I could just "be" with my kids at work I think I wouldn't feel this way. But I am preparing for a maternity leave, and one where I don't know if I am coming back, so after 9 years of making my mark I want to make sure that I leave the site organized as possible for those who may take my place.

I also think that there has just been a lot going on between putting our dog down after she mauled and killed the next door neighbors dog to other life experiences like death. Also, our church's women's retreat is coming up in two weeks and I am preparing to share how Christ rescued me from my depths 15 years ago (AND STILL IS!!). Satan is trying to steal the song out of my mouth so that I would have nothing to share that night!!

So I feel like I am treading water and I am getting tired. I just want a raft to come along and I can rest a while. I know that raft is resting in Jesus...but there ARE times in our lives He allows stuff to happen to stretch us, to mold us. But the extremely cliche statement is said often not because it is untrue, but because it is VERY true...He will NOT give us ANYTHING more that we can handle...but maybe it should really be said like this: He will not give us anything more than HE can handle for us.

So...Lord, it's me. You're pathetic, broken and lost child. I know one thing...You are the answer to all that I encounter good and bad. Please go before me in life and prepare my way. Protect me from the one who wants to destroy. Change my black heart that is angry, selfish and in a state of self-pity. Put a song from you in my soul that is untouchable. Please give me grace and wisdom. Forgive me for crying about life, when I haven't even asked for your help. Help me to see everything for what it is...I know you want the best for me. Please rescue me today.