Happy Birthday Presley

Today you turned two. You woke up, talking in your crib to your babies that sleep with you. You didn't cry for us to come get you, you woke up like a toddler and not a baby. You asked me to pick you up,only for you to ask me to put you back down on the outside of the crib, so that you could run and play, not to be held and kissed by me. You then said you did not want a bagel, but cereal with milk. You climbed up into your chair and waited. You are no longer the little baby that I held in my arms. You are your own person with your own desires and ideas. You want me close so that if you need me I am there, but not so close so that you can explore your world. When I came home today, you didn't run to hug me, you stopped to talk to me, telling me what you did. When Daddy was putting your car together for you, all you wanted to do was help...you were so frustrated when Daddy asked you to sit on the carpet so he could finish, you were sure that you knew how to do it yourself. At night, though, you still cuddle with me in Mommy and Daddy's bed. You lay your head on my cheek and we watch bizarre toddler shows like Yo Gabba Gabba. I tried to rock you...but my belly was too big with your baby brother in it. You were frustrated, and so was I. I just wanted to rock you too sleep, and you wanted me to rock you as well. I read you The Bear Snores On...I loved it because with Mommy working with kids during the day...you often haven't seen the animated kid side of me that can really engage you when I read. You stared at me with your mouth open as if you were saying "you have been able to read a story like that this whole time??!!" I was excited for the time we will have together when I am home. You asked me to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, rub your back, get your babies and pray. You say that Jesus lives in your heart, and when I ask you how old you are, you say two. You adore your Daddy...just like I hoped you would...and you're Daddy, well, adore doesn't come close to how he feels for you. You are more of a blessing than I ever imagined. You fill my heart with a joy that I never new before having you. God planned for me to be your Mommy, and He planned for you to be my daughter. His ways are perfect, He ALWAYS knows what he is doing, we stay close to Him, because we are like little silly sheep, and He is our good patient, caring, loving Shepard. He made you for a purpose, he designed you in a specific way so that He would be glorified, because when He is glorified it is ALWAYS a good thing for us. I know that I am not perfect, and I will fail you many times in your life even though, with all my heart, that is not what I want to do. I will teach you right ways, and unfortunately I will also teach you wrong ones. But most of all, I pray that you will know that even though I and your father and everything you count worthy of putting trust in, in your life WILL fail you, Jesus will NEVER fail you. He will always be there for you, in all your moments in life. Your Life will not be easy, but don't desire it to be easy. It's not the road that will get you to the place you truly want to end up. Your life will be full of all sorts of times...through all of them look to Jesus. I love you Presley.

Almost 34 weeks

Well, well...and one more...well. So much for journaling this pregnancy huh? I feel like baby Trent is already getting the short end of the stick! Well lets start with the complaints so the good stuff looks real good :). Plantar Fasciitis! What that means to me??!!! PAINFUL ARCHES, HEELS, TOES, CALVES. Truly...can't stand for more than a couple minutes without stabbing pain. Even after laying down all night, my feet kill in the morning. It has gotten in the way of cleaning, bending, walking...blah blah blah. Just frustratin when you can't do the housework and get things done!

Baby kicks. Oh they were so cute with Presley. I would lay down for an hour just feeling the baby move. NOW I SHUDDER WHEN THE BABY WAKES UP TO MOVE. To those who defend "no gender difference"...all I can say is "Tell that to my cervix!". It truly feels like he is kick boxing in my uterus and it is truly painful...however it is way worse when he doesn't move for a while and I get worried.

I think I will stop with those complaints...I wouldn't want anyone to think any amount of discomfort of pain is more than worth it for a healthy little baby. I just happen to be one of those people, that after I bore you with my complaints...ahhh...I feel much better after wards.

Moving on...Presley is turning 2 on Thursday. I can't believe that she really does age! The newborn stage is so long...but once she started walking and talking it feels like she's slipping out of my hands...oh but there it is. She is slipping out of the hands that I hold onto her so tightly with. I hate the balance that a mother needs to walk...your supposed to protect, teach, love, encourage, comfort, discipline and BOND-with open hands. I can only wrap my (swollen due to pregnancy) hands tightly around Jesus. It's not like He said it would be easy.

So this is where I am...just like every other mother that loves her babies more that life. I also feel like we are in the calm before the storm. This time I have some idea of how to prepare for the storm. The storm of labor...breastfeeding an infant every two to three hours (I will not wake that baby at three hours on the dot in the middle of the night this time!) needing so much from a husband who has already given more than he can...how will Presley handle the baby? Will I feel devastated at the time I can't spend with her? Will she feel left out? But just like He has carried me so for...he will carry me, us, again.

There is one last thing...Terry. Terry has been my rock in the last 8 months. My heart breaks for women who don't have a husband they can rely and count on from everything to support with children to finances (assuming the wife is pulling her weight as well!). Countless times of "Can you do this?" "I didn't get a chance to do that". He gets up in the middle of the night with Presley ALL the time. He sleeps on a twin bed on the floor so I can have the queen, he works hard at his job, he cooks, he cleans, he does laundry, he picks up Presley, he hugs me and tells me thank-you for carrying this baby. He waits for me to finish babbling on the phone...he cuddles with me (and HE HATES to cuddle) The bible says that he is supposed to love me as christ loves the church...and he does. He has longsuffered with me, and showed patience when I was difficult, and he sacrifices so much of what he wants for me. I adore him more everyday.
Ok...this post was ALL OVER THE PLACE...just like a journal should be :)