Patience...

I am patiently waiting for our new baby to come. I am feeling so blessed. Blessed by the Lord that He would give me Terry as a husband and Presley as a daughter and a new baby to join our family!

According to our last appointment...not even close. But we moms all know that doesn't really mean anything. I walked around dialated, completely effacted, station blah blah blah...for how long with Presley???!! So I will continue to prepare, rest and spend time with Presley...on another note, I LOVE BEING HOME!!! I love my job being taking care of home and Presley.

Lastly, a few pregnancy things...I am pleased with the weight gain. I gained 65 with Presley and lost only 30 or so in between. I started very heavy with this baby and I think I will come out under 25. I am SO excited to be able to walk without severe pain in my feet and constant contractions!!! But I will take the weight loss slow...the last thing I need is to lose milk supply or aggravate my hip flexor injury from long ago. I have to remember that I am WAY out of shape and it will be a long road back to the healthy Kathleen of 3 years ago.

I attached a picture Terry snapped yesterday of Presley and I in matching Green Bay hats that Terry got us, and Presley "loving" the baby.

Due in 2 and half weeks...we'll see(by the way, most annoying pregnancy symptoms right now....super swollen hands. In the morning, if I make a fist, some of my fingers have to be "popped" back in to place!)

Happy Birthday Presley

Today you turned two. You woke up, talking in your crib to your babies that sleep with you. You didn't cry for us to come get you, you woke up like a toddler and not a baby. You asked me to pick you up,only for you to ask me to put you back down on the outside of the crib, so that you could run and play, not to be held and kissed by me. You then said you did not want a bagel, but cereal with milk. You climbed up into your chair and waited. You are no longer the little baby that I held in my arms. You are your own person with your own desires and ideas. You want me close so that if you need me I am there, but not so close so that you can explore your world. When I came home today, you didn't run to hug me, you stopped to talk to me, telling me what you did. When Daddy was putting your car together for you, all you wanted to do was help...you were so frustrated when Daddy asked you to sit on the carpet so he could finish, you were sure that you knew how to do it yourself. At night, though, you still cuddle with me in Mommy and Daddy's bed. You lay your head on my cheek and we watch bizarre toddler shows like Yo Gabba Gabba. I tried to rock you...but my belly was too big with your baby brother in it. You were frustrated, and so was I. I just wanted to rock you too sleep, and you wanted me to rock you as well. I read you The Bear Snores On...I loved it because with Mommy working with kids during the day...you often haven't seen the animated kid side of me that can really engage you when I read. You stared at me with your mouth open as if you were saying "you have been able to read a story like that this whole time??!!" I was excited for the time we will have together when I am home. You asked me to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, rub your back, get your babies and pray. You say that Jesus lives in your heart, and when I ask you how old you are, you say two. You adore your Daddy...just like I hoped you would...and you're Daddy, well, adore doesn't come close to how he feels for you. You are more of a blessing than I ever imagined. You fill my heart with a joy that I never new before having you. God planned for me to be your Mommy, and He planned for you to be my daughter. His ways are perfect, He ALWAYS knows what he is doing, we stay close to Him, because we are like little silly sheep, and He is our good patient, caring, loving Shepard. He made you for a purpose, he designed you in a specific way so that He would be glorified, because when He is glorified it is ALWAYS a good thing for us. I know that I am not perfect, and I will fail you many times in your life even though, with all my heart, that is not what I want to do. I will teach you right ways, and unfortunately I will also teach you wrong ones. But most of all, I pray that you will know that even though I and your father and everything you count worthy of putting trust in, in your life WILL fail you, Jesus will NEVER fail you. He will always be there for you, in all your moments in life. Your Life will not be easy, but don't desire it to be easy. It's not the road that will get you to the place you truly want to end up. Your life will be full of all sorts of times...through all of them look to Jesus. I love you Presley.

Almost 34 weeks

Well, well...and one more...well. So much for journaling this pregnancy huh? I feel like baby Trent is already getting the short end of the stick! Well lets start with the complaints so the good stuff looks real good :). Plantar Fasciitis! What that means to me??!!! PAINFUL ARCHES, HEELS, TOES, CALVES. Truly...can't stand for more than a couple minutes without stabbing pain. Even after laying down all night, my feet kill in the morning. It has gotten in the way of cleaning, bending, walking...blah blah blah. Just frustratin when you can't do the housework and get things done!

Baby kicks. Oh they were so cute with Presley. I would lay down for an hour just feeling the baby move. NOW I SHUDDER WHEN THE BABY WAKES UP TO MOVE. To those who defend "no gender difference"...all I can say is "Tell that to my cervix!". It truly feels like he is kick boxing in my uterus and it is truly painful...however it is way worse when he doesn't move for a while and I get worried.

I think I will stop with those complaints...I wouldn't want anyone to think any amount of discomfort of pain is more than worth it for a healthy little baby. I just happen to be one of those people, that after I bore you with my complaints...ahhh...I feel much better after wards.

Moving on...Presley is turning 2 on Thursday. I can't believe that she really does age! The newborn stage is so long...but once she started walking and talking it feels like she's slipping out of my hands...oh but there it is. She is slipping out of the hands that I hold onto her so tightly with. I hate the balance that a mother needs to walk...your supposed to protect, teach, love, encourage, comfort, discipline and BOND-with open hands. I can only wrap my (swollen due to pregnancy) hands tightly around Jesus. It's not like He said it would be easy.

So this is where I am...just like every other mother that loves her babies more that life. I also feel like we are in the calm before the storm. This time I have some idea of how to prepare for the storm. The storm of labor...breastfeeding an infant every two to three hours (I will not wake that baby at three hours on the dot in the middle of the night this time!) needing so much from a husband who has already given more than he can...how will Presley handle the baby? Will I feel devastated at the time I can't spend with her? Will she feel left out? But just like He has carried me so for...he will carry me, us, again.

There is one last thing...Terry. Terry has been my rock in the last 8 months. My heart breaks for women who don't have a husband they can rely and count on from everything to support with children to finances (assuming the wife is pulling her weight as well!). Countless times of "Can you do this?" "I didn't get a chance to do that". He gets up in the middle of the night with Presley ALL the time. He sleeps on a twin bed on the floor so I can have the queen, he works hard at his job, he cooks, he cleans, he does laundry, he picks up Presley, he hugs me and tells me thank-you for carrying this baby. He waits for me to finish babbling on the phone...he cuddles with me (and HE HATES to cuddle) The bible says that he is supposed to love me as christ loves the church...and he does. He has longsuffered with me, and showed patience when I was difficult, and he sacrifices so much of what he wants for me. I adore him more everyday.
Ok...this post was ALL OVER THE PLACE...just like a journal should be :)

29 weeks

I was looking at my journal back in October. Seeing the desires of my heart fullfied with this new baby, and other areas blew me away. I Hope that I am one step closer at trusting God with my life and many steps further away from thinking the worst will always happen.

29 weeks is...lots of braxton and hicks, constant stuffy noses and weird sinus stuff. my body is soooo heavy, but then again, I was this weight about 4 weeks ahead last pregnancy. I am not gaining too much. This time last baby I was already 45 pounds weight gain...because I only lost 35 of the 65 I am trying to be SUPER good. My blood sugar test wasn't good, so I am going to the three our test next week. Diabetes is all over the place in my family and I shouldn't be surprised if I have gestational diabetes with being heavy and being predisposed to it. I hope not though. Major diet changes!

Presley is doing great. She is so awesome. I love our relationship. We have a lot of cuddle time and she is really anxious for this baby to come. I know she doesn't understand a whole lot, but she is really acting out the whole baby thing. I enjoy our "conversations" that we have. Her understanding is just growing with leaps and bounds.

I would say my biggest struggle right now is working...sorry! I don't want to complain...but the doctor keeps putting me out on shorter days, and days of work here and there and I just can't wait to stay home. But I have to finish strong at my job. God has truly moved in my life in the scope of my job and I feel I would be dishonoring Him to give up now. In His grace I need to approach each day. It's just a bummer....I want to sooo badly be home...cleaning, cooking, gardening, organizing. Not only that, we have plans for our family, but ultimately things could change on a dime and I can't put my happiness in anything but HIM.

26 weeks

Today I am 26 1/2 weeks! Little Trent is a very active baby, much more than Presley was. I was blessed with a blissful virtually discomfort free pregnancy the first time around so I never understood what "done being pregnant" meant! I think I have officially joined the ranks of millions of other women out there...but hey! It could be worse so not too much complaining!!!

I am still sleeping pretty well...starting to pee a lot more at night. I have had heartburn since 6 weeks, so that's nothing new. My stomach hurts right around the belly button, I remember this with Presley. I am really tired, way more than Presley. I eat better though this time because I am trying not to gain too much weight (I have a lot of work to do after this baby!!!) Terry is the best...when Presley gets up at night, he goes and sleeps on her floor. I used to be the number one person who would take care of her, but now he does that at night...a huge blessing that I should tell him about everyday!! My gums are receding...that's new.

I just can't wait to hold this baby!! I miss that so much. My prayers for after baby comes is no PPD or baby blues like with Presley, nursing would go smoothly...no SLEEP ISSUES OR TUMMY ISSUES like Presley had...I guess what I am really praying for is one of the "Angel Babies" you hear about but have really never met????

Praise God for the miracle of life and the blessing of family :)

25 weeks is good!

25 weeks...is good! Women's retreat and campaign at work is behind me and they both went awesome. I was getting a ton of braxton and hicks but that has kinda diminished. I notice that when I get super busy I get them. Maybe I am too busy to remember to drink water and pee...who knows.

I see the doctor on Friday and the only thing that is really bugging me right now is a month long sinus thing that affects my nose, throat and face. I keep getting a sore throat that never goes away completely, my face and head hurts and just a lot of, sorry, mucus...I am thinking sinus infection?? Mild if it is, but annoying still.

We have had my in-laws staying with us for about two weeks while my father in law recovers from major sugery. Presley has grown so close to her grandmother and I love it! The computer I am using is really old and takes a while to upload pics...but I will try to put some on here of Pres.

I am grateful for an un-eventful post!

Resting in Jesus this Thursday Morning

What would I do without you Lord??!!!

Do you every have those moments in your life where the beautiful realization hits you like a ton of bricks that in the end...it comes down to two beings: YOU AND GOD. Not your husband, your boss, your enemies, or even your amazing children that have given your life a new meaning.

it is blowing my mind that the love that I have for my daughter that would cause me to easily lay my life down for her...is NOTHING compared to how Jesus loves me. Lately I have feeling his love everywhere I go, and all the time.

All of His blessing, my husband, my daughter, this pregnancy, job etc...are so beutiful and wonderful but there is only ONE thing I can not survive without, Jesus.

So on this Thursday morning...I am resting...yes resting in Jesus.