Pictures over the last 6 months

Broke my oil bottle

Best little baby wearing, pirate in high heels ever!

oobleck (cornstarch and water) trent LOVED this. One of the things Trent and I do when Presley is at pre-school

Going through a drumming phase...

The youth going to homecoming took a picture with Trent

Trent hugging Chase's leg

Reminds me of a picture I have of Presley...I'll have to dig it up ;)

Miss Presley

Meet the teacher day of Pre-school and breakfast at Ihop

Trent's 2nd birthday

I just think he looks so handsome in this hat

My beauty

Presley's birthday cake...wow! Nana really got a special cake

Presley in the bounce house on her birthday

Leave Trent unattended for more than 5 seconds and this is what you may get....found him with a straw getting ready to drink out of the (unflushed) toilet

Trent got into the paint....

Yes....that's your tummy

I just happened to have my camera, one of the many places he gets himself stuck! Curiosity gets the toddler stuck...

Why play with the train set when I can sit in it???

Mom, you think this is crazy...wait until 6 months from now when you find me on top of my (bolted) dresser, touching the ceiling while I am supposed to be sleeping.....

Presley in ballet...

Terry went electric...traded in the gas guzzling charger for a volt

A few pictures

A few pictures from the last few days

We baked bran muffins and brought them to a rehabilitation home for the elderly on the street. Presley was super shy but Trent said in his monotone voice "hello".

We watch a couple scenes of this with Presley and she was fascinated! It doesn't surprise me actually, she likes cooking shows. She really loves to see Jesus depicted on screen. I keep telling her that he is just an actor....

Presley has eczema and we have notice that gluten aggravates it. So we look for low gluten ways to cook food. Both kids had these and they loved them both!

Hard to tell here...but the face is the precursor to all out tantrum with screaming. John Rosemond (LOVE this parenting author)  says that tantrums and hitting at two are normal...whew!! thank-God for that.

what I see all the time...the back of Trent holding something and running away from me...

In our kitchen I have a couple star charts for caught being good...they love getting their stars!

My parents watched the kids on saturday night so we could go to a church service....this is how it usually ends. My dad passed out on the couch and my mom reading to them. They love my parents, and my parents love them.

Plane watching after bible study on Friday....Trent LOVED it. Presley...ehh...she just loves family time.

To the Ends of the Earth

16 years old and born again. March 29th 1995 marks the day where I was finally experiencing peace in my heart that I had longed my entire life. For the first time I was at peace because I knew that no matter what came at me in life, what people may say of me, what or who I lose, I will always be OK because the God who created the entire universe and always was with no beginning and who knows ALL things...loves me. Not just loves me, but wants me, is willing to transform me. Transform the darkest, ugliest parts of me that I have spent a lifetime covering up and justifying to myself to anyone who caught on. This God was enough to give it all up for. While I was being transformed He could even use me to transform others through the power of His very Presence called the HOLY SPIRIT. I would be a History Maker for Christ...I would be a history maker for Christ. I felt like the girl in the picture as I boarded a plane for a mission trip to India.

TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH I would go.

So my transformation began. I battled my addictions. I tried to honor God with my life.  I dealt with my baggage and I grew...and I began to get blessed...like REALLY blessed.

I excelled at work. I got married. I had kids. Bought a house. And somehow I began to fear that I would lose those blessings...I began to worship the blessing (ahem...that's called idolatry) rather than God.

After my kids were getting a bit older, and the dust started to settle after the chaotic time of having babies was coming to an end....I knew I was missing something. Where was the "History Maker" from long ago? Where was the brave, bold, strong warrior girl of God?

She... was too busy crying over the fear of losing her children. Too busy being angry or frustrated with not getting her needs met in a marriage. Too distracted by the typical media/electronic distractions of our day to spend time with God...for reals...not just for checking off something on my list. Too busy coveting an up to date kitchen. The list goes on, but over all just too darn busy thinking about me. 

December of 2010 marks the time in my life where I was having an all out crisis of Faith. I really doubted God's existence altogether. Praise God that I knew enough to realize it was spiritual attack, that I was going to have to "wrestle with God" over this. That I was about to have an encounter close to what I experienced back when I was 16. 

Then HE SHOWED ME THIS...

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

AND THEN THIS....

So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. 17‘Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, 18I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. 19‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent. 20‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. 21‘He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. 22‘He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’” 

How in the world could I be lukewarm? 

luke·warm (lkwôrm)
adj.
1. Mildly warm; tepid.
2. Lacking conviction or enthusiasm; indifferent:

... NOT ON FIRE, SOLD OUT, INDIFFERENT, NOT CONCERNED.

Even though I spent time in the word nearly everyday, never missed church, and overall tried to honor God in my life I was not feeling like I had an abundant life at all...in fact I was heading for an all out crisis of faith.  To make matters more complicated after revisiting the gospels...How much does my life look like HIS?

To make myself okay with God I changed what the bible describes lukewarmness to accommodate where I was at. Because of my "accomplishment" of basic morality, reading the bible, seeking God,  I felt covered that surely I was not lukewarm...but I believe I was. 

I was lukewarm because being crazy for God (HOT on fire) could require pain, sacrifice (I mean REAL sacrifice...like give up your house sacrifice) discomfort, loss...loss. Loss. I was really afraid of losing all the blessing God had blessed me with. Husband, children and so on. I was lukewarm because Lukewarm is the safest place to be...ouch. 

And you know what??? I know I am not alone. 

I serve an almighty, faithful, loving, committed GOD. He was faithful to woo me back, then patient as He began to show me something was wrong, and steady after I realized I was lukewarm and stumbled through what it meant to be on fire. 

So WHERE do we begin...ask God to revel where you are lukewarm. Measure your life against scripture. Measure it against Christ and the early church. One way I felt I was very lukewarm is I was not too concerned about the worlds pain (ENOUGH to do anything about it). 

Then get in the word. Study whole books at a time not just a few scriptures out of a devotional book. Study it like your life depends on it. Study it like you will have a final on what that particular book was saying and how it fits into the whole bible and God's plan for us. Then get on your knees and pray like we mean it for HEART CHANGE!!! He is the only one who can change us to be ON FIRE, SOLD OUT, CONCERNED AND COMMITTED. 

Once again I feel like the girl in the picture...TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.  All glory to Jesus. 

Everyday can't be perfect

 Today was one of those crazy days...Terry usually takes Presley to pre-school so that he can take her on a date to breakfast. But today I took her because he had to work early. Then I came home to drop Trent off with Danielle (a sweet girl from our youth who we love so much!) so that I could go to the dentist. After that, I rushed to pick Presley up and then everything went from hurried to crazy to frustrating to we-may-as-well-go-to-bed because it is not going to get any better. Greeeeat attitude right?? Trent fought his nap like his life depended on staying awake and since he has conqured climbing his tall dresser (it's bolted to the wall) he needed something else to do. He decided that taking off his diaper FIRST as to not soil the fresh diaper, then drop a load in his bed and then walk all over it, smear himself with it and then the spindles of the crib and then the wall...when I came in he was looking at me like "what? I am still in my crib...what's you're problem?"

I was smart enough...no, by the Grace of Almighty God I decided to not discipline him at all at that moment, rather just plop him in the bath tub...then when he was not in earshot begin to say how I really felt to the walls. And you know what happened next? Terry, like the night and shining armor he is, walked in the door and then in true hero fashion saved the day (and money that would have been spent for my psyh hospital bills) and took over...as I cleaned up the aftermath.

It was already 315 at this point, so there was no use in him taking a nap.

It is now 730 and Trent ofcourse went to sleep fairly easily and we are now watching Mulan. Presley is curled up in her Daddy's lap and they are having a conversation on how to pronounce Mulan in Chinese.

And that was my day :)

Memorable conversation with Presley "one day when I get to heaven I want to be wearing a dress, with pearls and I also want a cricket..mommy I want to be mulan" Then I say you want to be Mulan in Heaven? And she says no silly, for Halloween.

So happy that we were able to snap these pictures in the morning!

Smile pretty for the camera (apparently I said don't look at the camera though)

Quick! Make a silly face

Committed to the now

Deciding to blog again was a thought that truly came out of nowhere. Lately I have been feeling frustrated and a bit panicked about the pace of my life. Sunday-church, Monday-breathe from the weekend (and clean from the weekend), Tuesday-parenting class and Presley in pre-school...rush rush, Wednesday-more cleaning and youth in the evening at church, Thursday- Presley in pre-school, Friday-bible study and then BAM weekend marathon is here!!

And just like that one year is over...it's gone. And I guess the feelings come from knowing that 1) our children grow up and change and grow away 2) we all die at some point.

It can be rather disappointing!BUT most of all, something for my children to read, Presley to look at if she chooses motherhood or even to know a bit more about her mother and how much I loved them both with all me heart...the legacy of walking with God on a daily basis, needing Him for the hair pulling moments where you can choose joy and laughter over exasperation and anger. Journaling our life, my life a a Jesus follower in a uncertain road where trusting in Him is the only way. 

So I had an idea! One of the reasons I feel so panicked is because I am horrible about writing thank-you notes, making scrap books, and anything that requires TIME...because I don't have any extra of that. But I do enjoy being on the computer...so voila! The idea to blog where I could upload pictures, type and not write and allow it for family and anyone who cares to see it was born.

Sweet (rare) Trent kisses right after he woke up and was groggy...

Presley's first day of pre-school!

Trent caught red handed with my mascara....everywhere but his eyes!

Trent's first number two in the toilet! Since then...his ONLY number two in the toilet...

Making her oat flour so that I can make her low gluten pancakes

Awwww....sibling love!

Arts and crafts

This is Trent's big thing right now...steal a bag of snacks and dump it all out

More evidence of snack stealing and vandalism

Cleaning up his loot

All clean!!!

So today....we started the day with making oat flour so that I could make pancakes for Presley. Oatmeal is very low in gluten so I grind it up, sift it and use it to make pancakes and other things with flour. Our day went pretty normal, we got out for just a bit to take Danielle to work and then to my moms to pick up gluten free flour and some old pictures for India that I am going to scan and post on facebook. We are really loving netflix.  I hated the commercials that came with sprout and nick Jr. AND the agenda that was subtly oozing into my kids brain- "buy me because everyone else has this" "buy me because you need me and won't be happy until you get me" and not to mention the new grown-up Dora that goes to a Shakira concert...so now we are really into veggie tales, pingu, dino dan (dvr'd) go diego go (dvr'd) and a couple of other things on net flix.  Came home and napped and then the craziness of Wednesday's with youth began. Dinner, dishes, bath and out the door.

THIS is why I am blogging...because all I really remember about Wednesday were the angry frustrated words as we were trying to get ready and no one was listening to momma-now I have proof that it wasn't all bad!

Some things I am working on and praying for are 1) God given patience...I need to teach more with patience and grace instead of control and bark orders 2) expose them to more activities...I think Trent especially is bored 3) pray more!!!

So much change in one year

The title sums up the way that I feel about this last year....specifically with the kids, Presley is now 4 and Trent 2. Presley has just started pre-school and goes on tuesdays and thursdays from 8:30 to 12. Terry takes her to breakfast for a "date" and then I pick her up at noon. While she is at school I focus on time with Trent and honestly I find myself just taking a deep breath....the pace of life is way to fast for my taste.

Trent is a very curious boy, full of emotion! He is over the top funny, but when he does not get his way he will scream at the top of his lungs and throw a huge fit. I really don't get it...I don't give him what he wants when he does this, I am praying that if I remain consistent he will grow out of this. I enjoy the times he cuddles close to me, tells me he loves me and is content because in this season, we don't see much of that. However, it gets better and better every month.

Presley is adorable. She is strong, knows what she wants, wishes she could get everyone to go along with what she wants. She loves strong and hard with commitment and loyalty...like her daddy. I see the man I married in her every day and I love that.

I often feel so inadequate in mothering these precious kids.  Daily missing the mark. I could do much better.

I really want to start blogging again...for the same reason I began in may of 2007...not to become a blog anyone reads actually-but to simply journal my life. Journal what it's like to be Kathleen Lu...Daughter of Jessie and Sid, wife to Terry, mother to Presley and Trent and how I am making my mark here for my creator (and how I'm not).