Birthday Pictures

Thank-you to Auntie Davese for the AMAAAZZZIING cake for Presley's first! Check out the handprint...precious!

This will break your heart...but very worthy of reading.

http://thelactivist.blogspot.com/2008/05/love-of-mother-even-if-its-someone.html

Happy Birthday Presley-May 21st

It was August. Hot. Termites were swarming in our condo. When my mom called, I sobbed uncontrollably about the termites and how the association was not going to take care of them. She asked if I was pregnant, and I laughed at her. I had wanted to see the plus sign on the pregnancy test for the past six months...and I was not about to struggle with God another month. It would happen if and when He wanted it to happen...besides I had no right to feel sorry for myself when it had only been six months and tons of other women had been in agony for years over infertility. It was August. I was bloated, more than usual, couldn't stand the taste of my favorite casserole. I wouldn't let myself dare to hope. I took a test, trying to contain the hope that was spilling out of me...staring at the little window. Nothing... "see, I told you, you weren't preg-...wait, is that a line??? I believe it is!" And there it was the little cross I had been waiting to see for so long, even before we started trying. The little two lines I prayed for...even cried to God late at night when I couldn't sleep.

I began to jump up and down talking to my self, laughing then crying saying things like"Thank-you God!" then the next was "this is impossible, maybe its incorrect". I got myself together and began to pray for the child that no other human being on the planet knew I was carrying.

Here we are, about two years later and I just celebrated my baby girl's first birthday. At the end of the day when she was exhausted I held her close and sang to her. I watched her drift off to sleep...and thought of the past years. My upbringing, what has contributed to who I am today, our marriage, the decision to try for a baby, the ups and downs, Christ's faithfulness and though not without pain or heartache, the desires of my heart fulfilled...

Happy birthday Presley. Happy birthday my sweet baby girl.

Just so CUTE!

A Prayer for China

Father, please help the people of China that were affected by the earthquake. The children that are still trapped at this moment. Please help the parents that are plagued with worry. Please help the hospitals care for the injured, and the injured to cry out to you Jesus, for help. Use this for your Glory, that many will call on your name for their help and give their lives to you.

Cute picture

This was taken while at "Mimi's" House. She's a year in two weeks!

Afraid to "Forget the music"

There I was, 6 years old crying behind a large chair at my first piano recital. I had just been escorted of the "stage" at the retirement home that we were performing at. I was escorted off because I had missed the piano and sat at the organ, then frozen solid with embarrassment when I finaly sat at the right instrument, I couldn't remember the music! I tried one time, then two times, a third...I kept playing the same chord. Eventually my teacher came and gently took my hand and walked me off the stage. So I sat behind the chair, crying and so embarrassed... In 3 days I will do something I have been so afraid to do for a very long time. I have been more than happy to do it for the women's ministries but for some reason, terrified of the "general public". I will lead worship for our church. I will stand there, guitar in hand, and lead my beloved brother's and sister's in worship to our king...yet I am loosing sleep and I have a pit in my stomach that will not be lifted until this is over. You see, after Presley was born, me and God had a conversation. I can tell Presley ALL I want until I am blue in the face to trust in the Lord when she is persecuted, to stand firm in the things of God, to not be afraid in the face of fear...BUT I CAN'T SING A FEW SONGS IN FRONT OF CHRISTANS! So I told Jesus that if they asked me again that I would at least do it once. At least once. So they asked, once for the married couples study and they asked once for Sunday morning. So on this Mother's day, I am so grateful to be a mother. I am so honored to have been asked. Though I am afraid, I will put that aside, my pride, my fear of "forgetting the music" and make a baby step in setting the example for my daughter that I want her to follow...be strong and of good courage.

caught

I am trying my best to stick to weight watchers points. This morning Terry "caught" me licking the plate after I finished eating the smallest waffles I have ever seen in my life...of curse he couldn't pass on the opportunity for a laugh, I wouldn't either :) knowing that we are planning on another one sooner than later, I struggle with the motivation to loose all the weight I gained from Presley just to allow my body to be taken over again...UGGGHH! The La Leche League is right in that if you breast feed the weight comes off quickly...but they weren't talking about the 30 pounds OVER you gained, just the baby's contribution! I lost that in a few weeks! The other 30 was my fault and it has stuck like superglue!!! I was overweight my whole life and when I was about 26 I lost around 50 pounds. Three years later I got pregnant, after 12 weeks of not eating because I was so sick ( not to mention eating like a bird for 3 years) it felt like I hadn't eaten in decades!! I gained 60 pounds from week 12 to 40. I enjoyed every minute of it...BUT Oh how I wish I just gained the 30!!!

Take Heart, I've Overcome the World

Lately, I have been...what's the word...disturbed by the horrible things that happen in our world. Children, his own children, locked in a "dungeon", murders, wars the list goes on. Why, no, HOW could I intentionally make a baby so that she too would have to bear the burden of the pains of this world.

I usually stay around Psalms, and the letters from Paul. I don't know why, I usually gravitate toward them when I am "surfing" the bible. But two nights ago as I was going to going to bed and I was ready to put my burdened, overloaded and dishearten heart to sleep... I hear very CLEARLY in my head John 16.

Is there even a 16? There's a 3:16...With the suspicion that the Holy Spirit was leading me, I began to read. As I read, my heart was again filled with the hope and peace that Christ is. It starts of with Jesus acknowledging things are gonna get bad. That we are going to be sad and the world will rejoice in it's sin. He compared it to that of a woman giving birth! That while we suffer now, He is coming back and just like when we see our babies for the first time and all the pain we suffered disappears, that is how we will feel when we see our JESUS!

But what blew me away, on how I KNEW that Jesus has heard the innermost parts of my heart lately is that at the end its says...drum roll please... IN THIS GODLESS WORLD YOU WILL CONTINUE TO EXPERIENCE DIFFICULTIES. BUT TAKE HEART! I'VE CONQUERED THE WORLD!

One day, that God has already decided, it will all the over. The pain, the crazy horrible stories of children suffering, families breaking apart, the struggles of hungry nations, wars and sin...will all be OVER.

Until then I must take heart, He has overcome what I am afraid of, hurt for and even do myself. I must run this race, persevere in it. I am a soldier. I can either be a prisoner of this war, or fighting until he takes me home.

Thank-you Father for your patience with me when I panic. Thank-you for your faithfulness. Teach me how to be the wife I need to be and the mother I need, the person I need to be so that at the end of this battle, I have been an effective.

contest...

My whole world changed since I had you...and I never want to go back.